5 Things All Single Ladies Should be doing Right Now

This isn’t an exhausted list. Just a few things I believe ladies should be doing while they are still single. This is coming from a Pastor with a Biblical worldview. Hope and pray it’s helpful.

1. Grow in your relationship with Christ 

This means reading your Bible and spending time in prayer on a consistent basis. This also means getting involved in your Church. Your faith should always be number one in your in your life, now and forever. Seek first the Kingdom of God above everything else, including a relationship.

2. Be friends with other Godly women and Godly Couples 

Spend time with other Christians. Have female Christian friends, so you can help each other develop in your faith. And, I know, nobody likes riding 3rd wheel, but it’s important for single people to spend time with Godly couples, so they can see a Christ centered relationship at work.

3. Guard your heart 

Stop spending time with/dating boys. They will give you the attention you want and they can talk the talk, but it takes a real man, a Godly man, to actually treat, respect, and love you like you deserve to be. Be careful with who you date. Don’t settle and give your heart to a boy that doesn’t deserve it and don’t date without a purpose. Guard your heart and save yourself for marriage.

4. Respect yourself 

Respect and love yourself. You are worthy of a good man, but if you want to be respected by a man, then start dressing respectfully and acting in a way worth honoring. Stop putting your “goods” out there for everyone to see. You are worthy, because your identity is in Christ, not in the opinion of some guy.

5. Choose God’s standards over Hollywood’s 

Romance movies might be fun to watch, but they are not real! Stop using them as a standard to measure guys and your relationships. They give ladies unrealistic desires and expectations. A real man looks like Jesus, not Channing Tatum. Get to know Jesus better, so you will know what kind of man that you should be looking for as he pursues you. Looks and muscles will fade, but Christ never does.

Extra Thought:

I believe “Magic Mike” and “50 shades of Grey” are a version of “Porn for women.” This may not make me popular, but before you jump down my throat,  think about it. Porn, for guys, give men an unrealistic view of sex. It drives men to objectify women. Movies and books, like those mentioned above, do the same for women. They give ladies an unrealistic view of relationships and a false sense of manhood. You want a man to not judge you based on your body or looks, but then you flock to see these kind of movies. You can’t have it both ways. Be careful with what you watch and read, because they have long term effects on your life and your relationships. That’s true for men and women.

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

5 Things Single Guys Should Be Doing Right Now

1. Read/Study your Bible

In other words, grow in your walk with Christ. This ranks as one of the most important things you can be doing in your wait for your future wife. Grow in the word, grow in your faith, and grow in Godliness.

2. Pray Daily

Again, prayer is an important part of your relationship with Christ. First, pray for your own spiritual walk and the things going on in your life. Second, pray for your future wife.

3. Stop objectifying women 

Stop judging women by worldly standards. See if she matches up to the Proverbs 31 example, not the models in the magazine pictures. She was made for the glory of God, not your temporary pleasure.

4. Get a job and start a career

Pretty self explanatory. Can’t take care of a lady, if you have no job. Stop being lazy and get to work.

5. Eat healthier and exercise 

Start taking care of yourself. No girl wants a slob. I’m not saying turn into a bodybuilder, but let up on the junk food and go for a walk/run every once in a while. In other words, like #4, quit being lazy.

As a single guy, this is a list that I’m trying to follow. It’s not a complete list, but it’s a start. I’m trying to dig deeper in God’s word and in my prayer life. Not just for me, but for my future wife and family. I’m trying to practice Godliness better. I want God to control the way I look at a woman. I don’t want the world guiding me and setting the standards. I have a career and I’m trying to work harder in it. I’ve started to lay off the crap food and I’m exercising more. I’m living in preparation for my future wife and I’m praying she is doing the same. Through it all, I pray God is glorified and this blog helps you out.

Sermon Outline 9/22/13

I’m going to do my best to post my Sermon outline from my Sunday morning sermon here on the blog. I’m doing it for Church members who missed Sunday, so they can see what they missed, for Church members that were there and want to keep the outline to review the sermon, for non-church goers that maybe want to study the passage I preached on, and for Church members who were present and missed part of the sermon because they were “Praying” with their eyes closed (sleeping) during the sermon and may have missed part of it. I pray it’s helps.

Sermons Series: The Gospel Matters

Sermon Title: By Faith we are Sons of Abraham

Date Preached: 9/22/13

Passage: Galatians 3:6-9

“6 Even so Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness. Therefore, be sure that it is those who are of faith who are sons of Abraham. The Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, “All the nations will be blessed in you.” So then those who are of faith are blessed with Abraham, the believer.”

Main Principle: It is by faith in Christ that we become sons of Abraham.


What does it mean to be a Son of Abraham by faith?

  1. You join the family by faith, not birth vs 7
    1. Faith is a complete and whole trust in Christ.
    2. You are adopted.
  2. You were chosen before the foundation of the Earth. vs 8
    1. From the beginning God had a plan for our salvation.
    2. Eph 1:4-5
  3. You inherit the blessings of Abraham vs 9
    1. The blessing is being Justified vs 8
    2. Gen 12: 2-3
    3. The Blessing is righteousness vs 6
    4. Gen 15: 1-6


Jew or Gentile, rich or poor, white or black or brown, educated or not, young or old, anyone can be a son of Abraham and receive the blessings promised to his children  through faith in Christ. It’s not based on your works but God’s grace.

It takes a Real Man to love a Woman

I’ve posted a couple of Facebook statuses giving relationship advice from the view of a single pastor. They seem to have gathered some interest, so I figured I would convert some of them into a blog. Here it goes, relationship advice from a single pastor…

Guys, Only a real man can love a woman. Anybody can say the words “I love you,” but only a real man can live it out. A boy can tell a woman that he loves her, but he can’t really prove it. It takes a real man to lead her spiritually. It takes a real man to honor her and to respect her. It takes a real man to protect her and provide for her. It takes a real man to make sacrifices for her well being and joy. Only a real man will pursue the woman, not wait for her to “make a move.” Only a real man can be a servant-leader to a woman. Only a real man can be the husband she deserves and only a real man will be the father her children need. If you tell her that you love her, then show it. Live it out everyday and not just when it is easy and beneficial to you. In the good and bad, care for her. She should never doubt your love for her. If she doubts, you’re probably doing something wrong. You are called to love her and care for her, not degrade her and use her for your pleasure. Step up and Man UP! If you can’t, then have the decency to end it with her, so you can go grow up and she can move on to a man that will treat her right.

If you want to be a real man, then learn from the creator of Manhood, God. You want an example of manhood, then look to Jesus. See how He loves. He didn’t just say that He loves us, He proved it. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. He didn’t wait for us to come to Him, He came to us, He pursued us. That’s the real love that only a real man can have and give. Want to be a real man? Become a man of God. It’s time to grow up and stop playing games.

Ladies, real men, like I have described above, do exist. They are harder to find, but, rarely, does anything worth having come easily. So, stop settling for boys disguised as men. Stop being so desperate for marriage that you take the guy that’s “good enough.” Wanting to be married is good, but it is not the goal of life. To glorify, know, and enjoy God is the goal of life. Marriage is a means to the goal. Stop trying to convert a boy into a man, that’s God’s job, not yours. Don’t give yourself away to a boy, there is a real man out there wanting to love you.

You want the perfect man? His name is Jesus Christ. Give yourself to him and then one of His sons, a real man, will pursue you. Why? Because you’re worth it. You’re a daughter of the King of Kings. You are a Princess, so live that way. Your life should reflect The Father’s Kingdom. Also, know, you should be treated as the Princess that you are. If the guy you are dating doesn’t love and treat you as Christ does, in other words, in a Godly manner, then leave him. If he is doing things that are pulling you away from The Father, instead of glorifying Him, then dump his sorry tail! Life is too short to be wasted, living outside of God’s will for your life, and it is never God’s will for you to be treated poorly. Woman Up and walk with Christ! Let nothing stop that from happening, especially some boy.

Sermon Outline 9/15/13

I’m going to do my best to post my Sermon outline from my Sunday morning sermon here on the blog. I’m doing it for Church members who missed Sunday so they can see what they missed, for Church members that were there and want to keep the outline to review the sermon, for non-church goers that maybe want to study the passage I preached on, and for Church members who were present and missed part of the sermon because they were “Praying” with their eyes closed (sleeping) during the sermon and may have missed part of it. I pray it’s helps. T

Series Title: The Gospel Matters.  A journey through the Book of Galatians.

Sermon Title: The Gospel Sustains

Date Preached: 9/15/13

Passage: Galatians 3:1-5

“You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified? This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? So then, does He who provides you with the Spirit and works miracles among you, do it by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?”

Main Principle: The Gospel Sustains the Believer

The Outline

The Gospel sustains the believer….

1. Through the unchanging word. vs1
A. Paul Preached Christ Crucified, which is the Gospel
– Christ Crucified= Jesus Paid it all
– 1 Corinthians 2:1-5
B. The Word/Gospel DOES NOT change
– Galatians 1:6-8

2. Through our faith in Christ vs 2&5
A. Faith comes from hearing the Word of God vs 2
-Romans 10:17 “Faith comes from hearing and hearing by the word of Christ”
B. By Grace through faith we are forgiven and healed vs 5
-All will die and be judged by either our works, our by our faith in Christ
-Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

3. Through the work of the Spirit vs 3-4
A. We are sustain by living and yielding to the Holy Spirit vs 3
-Galatians 2:20= Live by faith
B. The flesh can’t finish what God has started, only God can.
C. Suffer no longer with the guilt of your sin vs 4
– If God has forgiven you, then forgive yourself. Stop trying to earn Grace and forgiveness.

What’s God’s Will for my Life?

Something that’s been on my heart a lot lately, or I should say for years, is the question, “what is God’s will for my life?” Being 26, I’m only recently removed from my late teenage years when everyone is asking, “What are you going to do with your life?” I knew from the the age of 15 that God was calling me to preach, but I didn’t always know how to go about that calling, and that would bother me greatly. I spent a lot of sleepless nights stressing over what God wanted me to do. I was so fearful to be outside God’s will that I ended up doing nothing or even sometimes going backwards. I thought the older I got the less I would worry about God’s will. I was wrong. I still ponder what God has planned for my life. I know many others are wrestling with this subject as well. I can’t give you the steps to find out, I don’t know if there really is any, but I will present how I now go about this question. So here it goes…

I’m sure if you are like me, your prayers go something like this, “God’s what is your will for my life? I want to walk in it, so please reveal it to me so I will know what choices to make about ____________.” I don’t think this is a terrible prayer. It’s noble that you are so passionate about following God that you agonize over being in His will. It shows your heart’s desire is to follow God and that’s great, but maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe instead of asking “God what is your will?”, we should be praying “God let your will be done in my life.” What I’m saying here is, I don’t think our goal is to know God’s plan, but to trust that God has a plan.

If our question is to know what the plan is, I ask you, why? Why do you want to know the plan? You may say, “Well, Joel, I need to know God’s plan, so I can make the right decisions in life.” See that’s the problem. There are too many “I’s” in that statement. I need to know, so I can make a decision. In Luke chapter 9:23-24, Jesus says, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.” In this text Jesus is saying that, to follow Him we must kill that whole “I” agenda. Really, you’re asking God what the plan is, so you can know it and know what to do. You are wanting control, when Jesus is telling you to die to your self-controlled life.

So, what I’m trying to say is, maybe we should stop asking what God’s plan is and start praying that His will be done in our lives. The goal isn’t to know the plan, but to  die to self, yield to God and let Him work through you. Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”  You see here the “I’s” are dying. They have been crucified with Christ and they no longer live. Paul is saying here, the life that I live, is completely by faith in Christ and actually it’s not me who is choosing, but Christ.

You may have read this in hopes that I would give some easy quick answer, to this tough question, that you could apply to your life and know God’s will. Sorry to disappoint, but there is no easy answer. I will end with this, God has given you His spirit to grow you and lead you, yield to Him and listen to Him. God has given us His word, The Bible, from which we learn from and know Him by. God has given you logic and reason. Use these two under the leadership of The Holy Spirit and The Word of God, when facing tough decisions (and maybe you need to seek counseling from a Spiritual Leader or a Godly friend.) Just remember Jesus’ words from Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Again, I believe the goal isn’t to know the plan God has, but to seek after Him in all that we do. Doesn’t mean God won’t reveal His plan to you or at least part of it, but don’t stress over that. Just keep dying to self daily and seeking after Christ and He will work through you. Think of it this way, if God just revealed His whole plan to us, we would probably just end up messing it all up, because we are sinners. So who better to leave it to than the infallible, all-knowing, all-powerful, sovereign God. He does have a plan for your life, believe that, trust in that, and walk in Him.

Thanks for reading. I hope this has helped in some way.


Hey guys, thanks for stoping by my Blog. I’ve decided to set up a blog to share the things that God has placed upon my heart. I hope that they will be beneficial to you and in your life and above all, may our Savior be glorified.