Over a year ago I wrote a blog called “10 ways I pray for my wife, who I haven’t met.” This blog is a follow up to that one. I truly hope and believe that my future wife is praying for me. If there was some way that I could write a letter to her to help her with praying for me, this is something similar to what that letter would request. In this blog, I’m sharing some of my personal struggles as I try to be open and transparent, praying that it will be a help and encouragement to others. I hope this blog will encourage you, no matter your marital status, to pray for your significant other, future or present, and to seek after the Lord, so that you may become the person God intended and that they deserve.
- Pray for me to walk deeper with Christ
I want nothing more in this life than Jesus. More than marriage, kids, or a ridiculously awesome truck, I want to know Jesus and be known by Him, but that doesn’t mean that there are times that I don’t struggle with following Him. I want my future wife to pray that, right now and forever more, I am passionately and wholeheartedly seeking after Christ, who will be the rock and foundation of our future marriage.
- Pray for me to fight for purity
To be absolutely honest, in order to help others, fighting for sexual purity is a daily battle for me. I believe that to be true for most men. That doesn’t mean that I am struggling to have sex with multiple women, but I do struggle with the way I look at them. I don’t want to get caught up in looking at a woman and seeing nothing more than her looks as I mentally compare her to the women I see modeling on t.v., movies, Instagram, and in the magazines. I hope my future wife is praying for this area of my life. Pray that I will, by the grace, mercy, and power found in Christ Jesus, fight the good fight for purity with my actions and my thoughts.
- Pray for me to mature as a man
I am not naive enough to think that I have everything right in my life. I know, without a doubt, that I need to grow as a man. Let’s not be confused with the worldly sense of manhood: manhood is much more than age, how much you can bench, how far you can throw a ball, or if you have facial hair. Biblical manhood is a picture of knowing what’s really important in life and fighting and working hard for those things. I hope she is praying for me to grow as a man. She deserves a husband that is a real man of God, and that’s what I want to be.
- Pray for me to work harder
My future wife deserves a man that works hard. Don’t get this twisted, I’m not talking about working hard to make more money, but working hard at being a disciple of Christ, husband, father, and provider. Men should not go to bed and NOT be tired. What I mean is this: my goal is to work as hard as I can, so that at night, I crash into my bed knowing I give my all to my responsibilities. There are moments that I struggle with this; there are days and times I want to do absolutely nothing. I want my future bride to pray that God gives me the mentality to work as hard as I can at the things that really matter in life, for God’s glory.
- Pray for me to serve greater
I hope she is praying that God grows my servant heart. I need this to happen not only as a future husband, but now, as a pastor and Christian. I want to be the servant leader that she deserves, and I want her to pray that is what I become: so that I may lead and serve is a selfless manner.
- Pray for me to Love correctly
1 Corinthians 13 is clear about the definition of love and, as I read it, I realize that there is a lot of growth to be made in my life. I am greatly tempted to love when it is only convenient and to love when I know I will get something in return. When Paul gives us insight into what marriage should look like in Eph 5, none of those commands to either of the spouses are conditional statements. In other words, he doesn’t tell the husband to love as Christ only when his wife is being a good wife. The husband is to love no matter what she does. I want her to pray that I grow in understanding true love, which is only found in God. 1 John 4:7-8
- Pray for me to have patience
I hate the word patience. I want God to hurry up and give me patience, because I’m tired of waiting on it…. So, I need my future wife to pray that I become a more patient person. Another way to put it: I need to trust God and His timing more. After all, patience is a fruit of the Spirit’s work in our lives. Gal 5:22-23.
- Pray for me to prioritize properly
I still need to grow more in learning what’s really important and what’s not. I would appreciate her prayers for this area of my life. In order to be the man she needs, I need to know what should be a top priority and what should not. I don’t want to be a husband and father that chases after all the wrong things. Prayers are needed that I will have discernment in life.
- Pray for me to not be dumb
I want her to be praying that I’m not an idiot when I meet her. Chances are that I am going to tell too many bad jokes, and don’t be surprised if some of them are not appropriate for a first date, or a second, or even a 10th date. I don’t believe that I can help it. It can only take divine intervention from God to keep me from saying too many dumb jokes and telling too many stories that only I could find funny. Please, future wife, pray that I don’t do or say something to scare you away….
- Pray for me as I pray for you
I just want her to intercede for me as I do the same for her. Not just now, but long after we meet, marry, and until our time on earth is done.
Please, don’t take this blog and note as me being desperate or lonely: I am not. Instead, take it as me trying to be faithful to God in the season of life that I am in right now. I want to share my heart as a single man to encourage fellow believers. I am also trying to be faithful and love a wife that I have yet to meet and Lord willing, at His time, will meet.
Now, in another moment of transparency, I want to publicly share a note to my future wife:
Please pray for me daily, honey bear… Ok, I’ll come up with a better nickname for you than “honey bear,” but still, pray for me. I’m nowhere close to perfect and I’m a work in progress. A very, very, very slow work in progress. God is still changing and growing my heart. My mind is still being transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit. I want, desperately, to be the man you need and deserve, the man that God intended on me being, for His glory and your good. Pray for me as I pursue you and wait patiently to meet you. I want God to work in my life, so that I will love you well, treat you rightly, and honor God by the way I carry myself as your husband. I look forward to meeting you, building a friendship, dating you, getting married, having babies, running our youngins out of our home until they have kids, spoiling grandchildren, growing old with you, and faithfully serving the Lord with you until He calls us home. My future bride, please pray for me as I pray for you.
The Hunk of Man that you will marry, Joel Laseter