I’m an Odd Ball on Marriage, Gender, and Sex

I guess you could say that I am a bit of an odd ball when it comes to marriage, gender, and sex. Not everyone that reads this will think that, but the majority of Americans might. Instead of saying “odd ball,” a better way to put it would be that my way of thinking is counter-cultural. My convictions don’t fit the cultural norm. I know this because of polls that have recently come out and stories that are found in the mainstream media. So here are a few of my “odd ball” and counter-cultural beliefs….

  1. I believe that marriage is a covenant between God, a man, and a woman. This covenant should not be broken. Once you make this commitment, you are to love your spouse in blissful moments and in the times of struggle and hardship. There should be no end to this covenant, except that of death. I believe that marriage is between one man and one woman, and the definition is not open for discussion. God is the creator of marriage and the sustainer of the covenant, and therefore should receive the glory from unions.
  2. I believe that gender is a gift from God and not a choice of the person. These days, society calls people that choose to change their gender a “hero,” i.e. Bruce Jenner. I don’t believe that gender is a choice. Unlike the growing belief of liberal Americans, I believe we choose who we love and we don’t choose our gender.
  3. I believe in gender roles. I hold a Complementarianism view on gender. This means that I believe men and women are created equal, but distinctively different. We have roles, gifts, and responsibilities that complement each other. This doesn’t mean that I believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen or the laundry room. I do think a man can cook and clean, but I do believe God created man to lead. Men should be leading in the marriage, family, and the church. This view doesn’t cause the woman to be a step stool. It actually promotes the woman to be the person that the man loves so much that he is willing to sacrifice his own desires to insure that his wife is taken care of, protected, and knows that she is loved. The woman is man’s help mate, not slave.
  4. I believe that sex should be preserved for marriage and marriage only. I think that sex is a gift from God to married people. I believe that all sex outside of marriage is harmful. This belief of mine might be the most “extreme” to our ever changing society. I know this for a few reasons. One, I have read the stories of people’s shock when Tim Tebow said that he was a virgin. The country couldn’t believe that he hadn’t had sex. Few thought of it as admirable, but most used it to make him the butt of their jokes. Two, most recently Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson said in an interview at a church that he is dating pop star Ciara and that they have decided to remain abstain from sex until marriage. I couldn’t believe the media whirlwind. You would have thought that he said the pass at the end of the Super Bowl was a great play call. I was shocked that so many people were shocked. Three, I know that my belief on sex and marriage is odd because of the response I get from people when I tell them I am a virgin. Yes, at 28 years old, I have not had sex. I am waiting for my wife. DON’T get me wrong, I am not perfect when it comes to the way I have viewed, approached, and treated women. There are many moments that I wish I could have back, but God is still growing me in that aspect. Nonetheless, my full intentions are to remain a virgin till I marry my wife. By doing so, I want to honor my Savior and my wife.

Simply put, I plan on marrying one woman. Loving her for the rest of my life. Leading her, my family, and my church. And I’ll keep waiting and praying for her till that day.